Fifty shades of Jealousy
by anamarta.pereira1
Summary: What if when Christian was in the apartment with Leila, Ana did something stupid? could Christian forgive Ana's betrayal?
1. Chapter 1

Fifty shades of Jealousy – Fanfic

Chapter 1

APOV

"Ana come on, let's drink something, you definitely need to relax" Ethan told me, and he was right.. if only he knew how right he was. After I told him Christian was in my apartment with one of his ex girlfriends (I couldn't say submissive, even though I wanted to) doing whatever they were doing. Oh I wish I could know what they're doing! But I can only imagine. Were they..? no, no. I don't think Christian would ever do that to me.. or would he? Why would he be freaking alone with her in my apartment?

"Yeah, you're right. Get me something strong!" Ethan seemed surprised . "Ok, bring in some vodka!" Ethan was really excited about this, probably 'cause we haven't seen each other for so long. we needed some friend time. "One, two, three!" i felt the vodka burning through my throat. This was fun, I should enjoy this little time with Ethan. We kept drinking for like a hour, we were having a great time experimenting all of the shots on the bar menu.

"Ana, I've really missed you. Are you feeling better?" Ethan was now staring at me, he wanted an honest answer.. "Not really, but I really appreciate your company.. " I couldn't speak properly, my tongue was not helping. Have I been drinking too much? Well it's really possible Steele. You never know how to stop drinking! Oh, Ethan talking to me.

"Ana? Ana? Can you hear me?" he looked worried. "Oh yes, I'm sorry " could he see how drunk I was? I sure hope not, that was embarrassing. "Do you wanna do somewhere? Or we can drink some or.. Whatever you want" what? Definitely he was not aware of how drunk I was, thank god. "Thank you Ethan, but I don't think I have the courage to stand up, I think I may fall" what was I saying? Stupid Steele, just shut up.

"I would never let you fall Anastasia, I was hoping you knew that by now" Oh that was sweet, but what was he trying to say? I kept staring at me with those soft eyes. I wasn't feeling the pressure of the last times with him, it was all so natural, I was not worried, not nervous.. Just enjoying the moment.. the pressure that Christian always makes me feel, was killing me.

Ethan was not close to me, I could feel his breath. Any other time I would have stepped back.. But after today, I just wanted to feel some comfort. I felt his lips in mine, they were soft and warm. He deepened the his.. This was calm and sensual, nothing wild or possessive as I was used with Christian. Christian, oh my god. This was not right.

"Wow" Ethan said.. "I've been wanting to do this for too long" he was embarrassed.. what was I supposed to say after that? I was in big trouble. I realized what I have just done.. I had no idea what Christian was doing alone with Leila, I wasn't sure of anything, and I just kissed Ethan, I'm so stupid. He is never going to forgive me after this, I will never want me again.. and probably he is going to hurt Ethan if he finds this out. "This was such a mistake Ethan, I need to get back to Escala, I'm so sorry" I told him, could I feel any worse?

"Ok.. I'm sorry too. I'll take you there" Ethan was so serious right now, I could feel that I just made him feel worthless. I just kissed him and I wanna get home to my boyfriend.. was he still my boyfriend? I couldn't think right

"I'm just not feeling well" that part was true, I was feeling dizzy and I probably wanted to puke. I stood up and I almost fall. Gosh I really drank to much.. If Christian is at the apartment when I get home, he's gonna kick me out, I'm sure of it. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow, I will probably feel better by then. I still really upset with him, how could he choose her instead of me? I should go home.. I've done enough for the day.

- **ESCALA** -

"She's here" Christian looked sick. He looked at me like he hasn't seen me in years. "FUCK, WHERE WERE YOU?" he shouted. It was so loud that I jumped. He was mad, oh really mad. But so was I!

"Stop yelling at me" He couldn't do this. Leave me for his ex girlfriend and then yell at me like I started this. He didn't even know the worst part.

"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU ANASTACIA ROSE STEELE? WITH WHO?" uh, that was the problem. He wanted to know who I was with, and that I could not tell him.. he has so mad, and I could not get out of this situation without answering everything I asked me, and I don't think I could do that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I was just staring at him, and he was looking at me like he was going to break everything around us. Christian was scaring me.

"I was.." I couldn't say it, I had to much alcohol in my blood, and I was terrified. "WHERE? TELL ME NOW ANASTACIA, OR I'LL LOSE IT" I don't know why, but I started crying.. he was so scary, I knew that he was worried, and jealous, and I knew he was 50 shades, but I just hoped that with me, somehow, he could be gentle.

"Oh, fuck Ana. Don't cry, I didn't mean to yell so much, but you just don't tell me anything!" he was still mad, but at least now I hasn't afraid that he was going to hit me or something. I've never seen him like that. "I'm sorry.. Christian" it was getting really hard to talk.

"HAVE YOU BEEN DRIKING?" Stupid question I thought, he already knew the answer to that. "It was just a few drinks" oh good, now I'm lying to him! "A few? How do you define a few Ana?" And he knew I was lying, damn.

"Maybe 4 or 5 vodkas" I honestly had no idea of how many drinks I had taken, but it was probably more than 4 vodkas. "Stop lying Anastasia. You can't even stand straight..FUCK ANA!" the next thing I remember I was throwing up all over the floor. He looked a little less angry.. I should tell him now, this is the moment.

"I was in a bar close to my apartment, and I was with… Ethan" I slipped and almost fell. And the anger was back.

"WHAT? DOING WHAT? Let me see if I'm getting this right. You left with Ethan to a bar when I told you to get back to Escala, you drank the whole bar, and then you came home. How did you came home really?" this was looking pretty bad.

"Ethan took me home." What was I supposed to say? I kissed him and he had to took me home 'cause I remembered that I love you? "At least the bastard did something logical. What else are you hiding from me?" He knew me so well.. "Nothing" I said. "Anastasia, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" did he knew it already? No way, he couldn't.. but I just told him with my guilty face. "DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?" he was yelling even more than when I got home.

"No, how could you think that? Did you sleep with Leila? You left me to be with her!" now I was angry too!

"No Ana, what the hell. I just stayed with her because she was broke. I had to gave her a bath and I called Dr. Flynn." He said. He did what? He gave her a bath in my apartment?. "Why in the hell would you gave her a bath Christian?" I was normally not the jealous type, but I had to know everything now.

"It was nothing like that Ana, you're trying to run from the questions I'm making! What did you and Ethan do?"

"Nothing that you and Leila didn't" I answered. I was felling proud of myself for this answer. "What? Ana are you kidding me? I did nothing with Leila, but I don't think you have the same answer to me about you and Ethan."

I was feeling like crap right now. I really thought they were having sex.. When I saw them together, all I could think of was how much I was wrong for Christian, they belonged. Leila was the perfect submissive that I was never going to be.

"TELL ME NOW ANA, YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!" he was going to leave me, I knew it. How stupid was i? How could I do that to him?. "YOU FUCKING SLEPT WITH HIM DIDIN'T YOU?" he kicked a chair and punched the balcony.

"I did not sleep with him, we just kissed, and it was nothing Christian. I was feeling like shit when you left me for Leila, I really thought you two were... " I stopped talking, but I needed to finish this. "You and Leila belong together, I'm nothing like her! I was never going to be enough for you." This time I was being honest.. I guess throwing up did a good thing for me. I looked at Christian and he was nodding his head like he was saying no. what was he thinking?

"You fucking kissed him. You did. How could you think that you were not good enough for me? You were everything I ever wanted, you changed me Ana, I don't need any of that stuff anymore. And you went and kissed another man? Like that was going to solve anything. I think you need to leave. Leave this apartment; I can't even look at you right right now. ! Sawyer is taking you out of here." I knew he has going to leave me, I just never thought that he would throw me out. I'm going to my apartment now? Where he was with her? That was making me feel disgusted.

"Miss Steele, where can I take you?" Sawyer was always so professional.. He noticed that I was not feeling well so he gave me some time to think. "Wait a minute please, I need to make a phone call" and It's going to be the last phone call I'm making from this phone.

"Hey, Ana! How are you? It's kinda late.. are you okay?" Jose was the only one I knew was going to take me without making any questions."

"Can I come over?" I asked. I knew that this was going to drive Christian insane, or maybe not. I has not going to my apartment, I would not bother Ethan again, and either way.. Christian left me already.

- Jose's Apartment -

"Thank you so much Jose" I could always count on José, he was such a good friend.. "Oh Ana, I'm always here for you" he was really sweet. Maybe Christian was right, maybe he did like me.. Maybe I could have been happy with José, but he was not Christian, and I was so in love with Christian.

"I just really need to sleep right now, I'm so tired" I couldn't feel my legs, or my heart. José told me that I could sleep in his bed, and that he would sleep on the couch.

- Fifty Shades of Jealousy -I was at José's apartment for almost 4 days now. Christian really didn't care, cause if he did, he would have sent Sawyer to check on me.. we were so over. And I was feeling like crap. I was working but sometimes I found myself just staring at nothing. I need to move on, but how? No one is ever going to be him.

My phone rings.

"Ana! How are you?" Mia? Why is Mia calling me? This was weird, we were friends of course but I'm sure everyone knows by now what I've done, she should hate me. "I miss you girl! Is there any chance that we can meet?" She wants us to meet? Why would she want that? Maybe she wants to tell me that I need to stay away from Christian, cause he is hurt, and that's my fault.

"Sure Sure, you can come by tomorrow for lunch?" I only had like 1 hour to lunch so maybe this was really the better time. "I was wondering if I could come over to your apartment, I really need to talk to you" WHAT? My apartment? Doesn't she know that I'm at Jose's? "Hm.. Mia, I'm staying at a friend's house" She already knows that, maybe she's testing my guilt. "Oh, are you? Crap.. so I can't come over, that would be weird right? Maybe we should talk on the phone then.. are you busy now?" what was so urgent that she needed to talk to me right a way? I was so curious that I stopped everything I was doing and said "I do, what's going on?".


	3. Chapter 3

**Author** : Hey guys! Honestly, if you have any idea for the story, I will read them all and try to make it happen

**Chapter 3**

"I need to talk to you about my brother." Oh no shit! I already knew that! "Ok, what about him?" was I sounding too rude? Sure hope not. "My brother is a wreck Ana, what the hell happened between you two?" She really didn't know. He was a wreck? He surely didn't seem as bad when he threw me out. He was no Saint! He fucked dozens of women, and I just kissed like 5 guys!

"I screwed up, that's what happened." How could I hurt my Christian like that? We were happy.. He made some mistakes too, but I fucked this up. I really ended us.

"But what did you do Ana? I've never seen Christian like that, I went to Escala to visit him, and Taylor told me that I couldn't go in because Christian was feeling sick that day. Of course I did get in, because I was worried about him. I was like searching for him all around the house and I found him crying on the floor, yelling words that I couldn't understand, except the one, your name." Oh my God, I can't handle any more of this. I need to find him, I need to talk to him, if he is this sad it means that he still cares about me, he must care about me. Oh Mia was still talking to me.

"And another thing, we had a black eye, I honestly don't know what happened, but Taylor told me that he was like that for 3 days." Black eye? Who did something like that to Christian? Wait. Maybe.. Oh My God, he went to Ethan, and they got into a fight. That's the only reason.

"Mia, I need to go I'm sorry.. Thank you for calling me" I need to talk to Christian right now, I don't know how I'm going to get to him, but I'm doing everything that I can. I should probably call Ethan to check if he is still alive. I know how Christian gets when he's jealous, and It's not pretty.

- Fifty shade of jealousy-

"Ethan, Hello. Are you okay?" I couldn't wait any longer; I had to ask him right away if he was ok. "Yes, I'm okay Ana. Who told you?" Oh crap, it was true.. They got into a fight over me, and that's why they were both hurt.

"Hm.. Mia called. Are you really ok?" I was so worried about him.. And Christian, he does not simply get punched. Christian works out every day, and I know he can fight. "Ana I'm ok, but your boyfriend is crazy! He walked in here, started to punch me and he only left 'cause his security told him that I understood the message Christ! He's just crazy Ana; you need to run from this." If only he knew, I was so not running.

"I'm so sorry Ethan, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I made a mistake by kissing you, Christian freaked out and threw me out, and I'm staying at José's for now." I was so ashamed, but feeling actually good, because if Christian came to punch Ethan, that would mean that he still has feelings for me.

"That bastard threw you out? Did you say to him that I started it?" Now that you tell me that.. No I didn't, should i? What difference would it make? "I can't believe this. I could punch him again right now!" Oh gosh, no. "No, No Ethan, forget it, he doesn't love me anymore, so it's better this way" No it isn't.

"Oh Ana come on, do you think this guy doesn't love you? And he thinks you don't love him? What a bunch of retards. He came in here telling me that you were his, and that no other man could ever touch you. Is that the speech of someone who's not in love?" WHAT? I was his? Of course I am, but he didn't want me anymore, or else why would I make me leave? This is not right. "I need to go Ethan, I'm really sorry once again" I'm going to Escala to solve this crap.

- Escala -

"Hello Taylor. Can I talk to Christian?" please say yes. I need to see him now, I need to apologize once again, even if he still hates me.. I just need to see him.

"Mr. Grey is busy Mss Steele, I'm sorry." He's busy? He's probably working.. But I can wait; I will wait forever if I have to. Or was he with Leila? He left me, so he needed to find a new Sub for him, and Leila was ready.

"I can wait, Thank you Taylor." He looked worried.. Maybe I could get him to tell me anything about Christian. "So, Taylor.. How's Christian doing?" I need to pretend like I don't know anything. "I'm sorry Miss Steele I'm not allowed to tell you anything about so you never heard it from me. is not okay, you need to talk with him because as far as I can tell, Ms Steele, you're not doing great either."

He was right, I was not doing not even ok, I was feeling like I could sleep outside his door so that I could feel him closer to me. "And, I think you should come back another day, is really busy today." Now he sounded weird! This was not work for sure.. He was hiding something from me. I passed through Taylor and he did nothing to stop me. I walked past the kitchen straight to Christian's office, I don't know why but I thought that he was there.

"Christian, you need to forget about that little… girl. She was just using you for the money of course, I warned you so many times.." I knew that voice! I can't believe that she's here. Is he busy with her? I'm so stupid for thinking that he was suffering. "You need to start enjoying yourself again, and I can help you worth that, you know I can". She was really with him, and I couldn't stand to be here anymore. "Elena?" I whispered. "Fuck!" I stepped into something on the floor.

"Wait a minute, I heard something. Taylor?" fuck, fuck fuck he heard something, I need to run. "Ana?" he saw me! How could he? I was running really fast.

"Ana? Stop right there" He better be kidding me, he was giving me orders? I wasn't one of his subs, I wanted to go back and make sure that he knew that. but I shouldn't. "Taylor, Stop her!" oh now I was screwed, Taylor could get me in a blink of an eye. But he didn't. Why was Taylor helping me? Maybe he felt sorry for me because he knew that Elena was in there. I left and no one was following me, and thank God for that.

My phone rang. Christian? Again, for 100 time today. Gosh I need to work!

"Ana, I have on the line, he says it's urgent" Oh I know how urgent it is! Like it was urgent to get into Elena's pants. "Well Hannah, tell to never call me again, I'm happy without him in my life and that he should probably go fuck himself" I smiled. Hannah laughed, she thought this was funny? That was not really my point, but it's better off this way. "I can't say that Ana" the hell she could! Ok.. Maybe she shouldn't. I laughed with her, so she thinks that I was kidding.

"Ok, then say that he needs to stop calling me because I'm busy" Hannah nodded and left. One less problem. I needed to check my email even though I was trying to avoid that.

And there it was the email I was trying to not read.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author : So here's another chapter, I hope you're enjoying this! Any ideas for the story? Tell me in the reviews!**

**Chapter 4**

**From : Elena Lincoln**

**Subject : Don't try anymore**

**Date: February 28 2013, 11h00**

**To : Anastasia Steele**

Hello my dear. As you already know, I'm with Christian now, and there's nothing you can do to change that. We spend every night making love to each other, and he enjoys himself more that you will ever imagine. He touches me and loves me. I am enough to him; I give him what he wants and needs. You're nothing but a piece of garbage that's making this harder. Leave Christian alone, so that we can be happy together.

Thank you for your attention,

**Elena Lincoln **

_No, this can't be right. This bitch! I just left a week ago and she's already with him? Ana.. you already knew that. This was just a confirmation. They're making love at night? Probably in our bed. Christian, you bastard.. I can't believe this. Wait. Another email?_

**From:** Christian grey

**Subject:** Hide and seek

**Date: **February 28 2013, 11h30

**To:** Anastasia Steele

I know it was you at my house last night. Can you explain to me what you were doing there? Reply to me has soon as you see this.

You better have a perfect good explanation.

**CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

Shit, he really saw me. I should have a perfectly good explanation? Why was he so rude? Oh I know why.. he was going to have a passionate night with that bitch and I interrupted. Should I reply? I don't think so. And what kind of subject was that? Was he joking? He doesn't need me; he will eventually stop stalking me.

I spoke too soon. Another email.

**From**: Christian Grey

**Subjec**t: Stop this shit.

**Date**: February 28 2013, 11h40

**To**: Anastasia Steele

Cut the crap Anastasia, I know you're reading my emails. I'm going down there and you better be there when I arrive, this is going too far.

**CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

_What was going too far? Me? Trying to be part of his life when I'm not? He made it very clear last night when I heard Elena. I felt like I was disposable and that I was not needed anymore. Mia was wrong, and so was Ethan. They don't know Christian... But do i? I thought so. He has needs, and I was never good enough for him._

_I read the email again. Wait, wait. He's coming here? To my office? I need to get out of here!_

"Ana" I heard his voice. Too late to run now I thought. How could he have this effect on me just with his voice? I was so angry with him but I still felt like he could take me right there. The sexual tension is never going to change is it? Oh my God his eye! Seems like Ethan really put up a fight, Christian looked like crap... but on the other hand, so did I.

"Christian" I said. What else could I say? Hey mister, please explain to me why your ex was at your apartment last night, why are you fucking her when you were with me a week ago! I can't ask him because, I'm an ex too.

"Wanna try to explain now?" Shit, right to the part of the conversation where I was hoping to run to the bathroom. Whatever, I need to get this over with. "I went there to check on you, Mia called" he looked shocked and angry at the same time.

"Fuck, what did she say? This was just a misunderstanding" he said pointing to his eye. "Oh was it?" I asked. "It was a misunderstanding that you went to Ethan's apartment too?" I was so mad at him. He was just lying to my face. He remained in silence.

"I know what I did was wrong ok? I was drunk and I thought you were fucking Leila! (Guess I was just wrong with the woman..) But coming after him like that? Who do you think you are? You lost every right with me when you kicked me out. I'm an independent woman and you don't have anything to do with my life! Now go back to Elena because it seems that she's all you need. UFF, I can breathe now! I should have picked the phone sooner.

"Elena? What are you talking about?" was he really trying to make me feel stupid? Oh I'll show you stupid.

"I'm not a fool Christian, I know she was with you last night..i know it all, she told me.. and I heard all that she was saying about me" now I got his full attention.

"It's true, I called Elena when you left with Sawyer, but it was all I did, call. She showed up last night uninvited and she wouldn't stop talking. She kissed me, I kissed her back, but that was all. I felt repulsed when she tried to touch my pants" _He did kiss her... I knew it. She was trying to touch his pants? That bitch! What kind of kiss was that? Shut up Ana, you know what his kisses make you feel._

"Ana, say something" what the hell did he want? I admitted that I was there, I told him why, I said I'm sorry, I showed him that I'm jealous.

"I don't have anything to say to you Christian, I think you should go." He needs to leave before I do anything stupid with him. "GO!" gosh; I was sounding like him wasn't I? Just like when he threw me out. I can't do this..

"I know you're hurt Ana, but you know me, I'm so jealous.. No man can breathe near you. I could kill him that night, instead I treated you like shit, and I'm just sorry" he was saying that he's sorry? _He needs to stop looking at me like that.. Oh my god those eyes. _

"I need you with me. I've been crazy knowing that you're staying at Jose's apartment.. I really really need you" he was coming closer, I know that look, and I know what comes next. I can't do this, I thought all I wanted was him but this was too much... He turned to kiss me and I looked the other way.

"No Christian, I can't." he was looking like the world fell down on him. "What? You've never said no to me like that. You won't even let me kiss you_?" oh, this was new to him… I bet all the women close their eyes waiting for the perfect kiss. He tried to kiss me again._ "Gosh, I can't! Not after what you did Christian. I haven't forgiven you about the Leila fiasco and what about Elena? Why was she at your apartment? She told me everything! I know all about the love making.. Don't think I'm a fool" Silence. He wasn't saying anything.. Not trying to explain. Nada, nada.

"I guess this is it. If you don't have anything to say to me, and I don't have anything to say to you.. We're done" _how am I capable of telling these words? He can't leave me.. I won't survive this. Oh shut up Ana! You're strong enough to get through this!_

"Love what? This is crazy..what did she tell you? I am not leaving this place without you. I can't Ana. Can I call Dr .Flynn? I'm sure he will help us." _Dr. Flynn? What the fuck? I don't want to talk to Dr. Flynn I want him to be honest with me! Is that so hard?_

"Fine, whatever" he must think I'm a rock with no heart by now_.. All I want is him back but I can't handle all of this crap. He has to be 100% honest with me or this is not going to work. I shouldn't have kissed Ethan, I messed up, but he was not helping. I told him everything and he hasn't told me even half the story_.

"Let's go to Escala Ana, he will be there in 20min_" What? The man does nothing more in his life than being all ready for you ? Then I remembered._

"I don't want to! I'm not leaving work!" _Not really up for Discussion I guess._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author : So, i know this is a really short one and i'm sorry, i'll make it up to you.**

**Chapter 5**

"Dr. Flynn thank you so much for being here" Christian shacked his hand. His hands, _I can't even look at them, they bring me memories of amazing things._

"It's my pleasure" Dr. Flynn seemed calm, if only he knew what was coming. "So, I know all about your situation, and I think we need to try something, maybe it could work" he knew all about our situation? What? Like me kissing another man? Christian fucking Elena? We both sited on two chairs, one in front of the other. "Ana, do you want to start?. No! I don't wanna start this.

"Fine." I' m not calm at all, but i know that he doesn't deserve my concerns anymore, this is just ridiculous. Christian is not talking, and he looks insecure, this is not the Christian that I know.

"Ok, so let's begin. Ana, I'm aware that you kissed another man while you were still dating him" oh fuck, he really knew the situation. Ok, let's do this.

"I did." I told him. What was supposed to say? He knew it all already, and so did Christian.

"Ok. Christian, how do you feel about that? Fuck, this is such a hard question; I don't think I wanna hear the answer to that.

"I hate it. How can u trust her? I did nothing wrong and she kisses another guy! Why? You know how jealous I am Ana; I can't stand another man near you, and imagining you fucking this guy... Gosh" _He did nothing wrong? He's joking right? Fucking Ethan? He still thinks that we've slept together? I'm going to enjoy this; he needs to learn a lesson. _

"You did nothing wrong? Fuck you Christian; you fucked another woman in my apartment! I told you I was sorry already, but you threw me out! You didn't event let me explain. And you know what? I'm glad that I slept with him. Now I know what kind of man you are, when there's trouble, you make me leave." That was brutal, but he needed that, he can't keep blaming me for everything!

"FUCK, you really slept with him didn't you? How could you Ana? I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BASTARD!"

He stands up and starts rubbing his hands through his hair. If he believes that I slept with another man, he doesn't know me at all. He didn't felt half the things I did when we were together.

"I did! And I freaking enjoyed it!" _I didn't know that I was such a good liar, but he's being an ass with me and I need to make him feel like I am feeling right now._

"Hey, I think you both need to calm down, and start this over." Flynn was right, this was not getting us anywhere.

Christian nods and puts his hands on his knees. "Christian, do you have any question to ask Ana?" oh god, this is not looking pretty.

"Was he better than me? You know, in bed?" what kind of question is this? Is this that important to him? I need to keep this charade for now.

"Yes, he was great" I felt Christian falling apart right there; I could see in his eyes that this was all that he could take. He kept repeating the word "no no no"

"Ok Ana, it's your turn" I can ask him anything? Where should I begin?

"How long have you been with Elena?" _He looked at me shocked like I was being stupid._

"Shit Ana, I'm not with Elena at all! I already answered that! I have nothing with her."

"You're lying! She told me everything!" I was almost crying, but I could. I can't show him that this hurts me.

"She spoke to you? Why? When? That woman is making this harder!" oh, I recognize those words, and what's the problem with her talking to me? At least she tells me the truth.

"She sent me an email, telling me how happy you two where, and that you pretty much enjoy her a lot in the bedroom" Christian stands up and grabs my arms. This was serious.

"Ana you have to believe me, I'm not sleeping with her, there's nothing between us, you're all I want, I'm so sorry that I kicked you out but you slept with another man, it fucking hurts me so much. Why? Why did you?"

"i felt like I wasn't enough to you, so at least I am enough to him, at least I seemed enough"

I'm proud of me; I was never this strong before.

"And if he is better than me... Then why are you here? SHOULDN'T YOU BE FUCKING HIM ALL DAY LONG? He was yelling again, and almost crying. I need to end this.

"I'm sorry I think that this session is over, I need to speak to Christian alone"

Dr. Flynn looked at me surprised. But I think that he understood that this was a private conversation from now on.

"Ok Ana, I think you're right, I'm going. Please keep calm when you're talking to each other."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Author:** Guys, you are really really hard to please. So, I have good reviews, saying that they are loving were the story line is going, and then I have bad reviews saying that I am ruining the characters. I wish I could please everyone, but it's getting tough. So I'm going to continue they way that it is, and if you guys have any ideas, I'll read them all and then try to put them into the story. Thank you so much!

A: "Christian..." he looked so angry, _why was I so stupid, trying to make him jealous, Ana, grow up!__  
_C: "I don't want to hear anything anymore Ana. I'm not with Elena, and I don't know why would you believed anything she says. She done nothing but try to hurt our relationship and you still believe her. How stupid is that?"

He's right. He is so right. If he is not with her at all, then I lied to him in vain. But I can't back out now, he threw me out for a kiss, and he kissed her too! So were on the same page here. He needs to keep thinking that I slept with Ethan, that way he can feel that my little kiss was nothing compared to how I feel about all the women that he has been with.  
A: "Ok, you're right. I shouldn't believe her, but in our situation, and knowing you, I know you have needs Christian, and since I'm not with you, you would need another woman"

C: "How could you think that? I was with you! But how I am supposed to feel about you being with another man? I love you and you know that, all I want is for you to be with me again Ana, but I cant even look at you without thinking about you with him, you said that he was better than me, how can I even.." _He seems so lost, what did I do?_ "I don't know. I think I need to me alone right now."

And there you go; he steels me from my work, and now his throwing me out again. I can't tell him the truth now, I don't even know how to start telling him that I lied about this, but his eyes are killing me. He's so hurt.

A: "I get it Christian. So you've slept with half of Seattle but I'm only allowed to be with you forever. You know that I love you but I was really hurt about the thing with Leila and you still don't get it. I'm out of here, and don't even think about getting me here a third time if you're going to throw me out all over again"  
He looked confused.  
C: "I'm not throwing you out Ana."  
A: "So what do you call this? I knew that I shouldn't have come here" of course I should. I missed him.  
C: "Ana, you have to believe that I really didn't sleep either with Leila or Elena since I'm with you. I just haven't. But I can't say the same about you and it kills me, I can't be with you right now"  
He's breaking up with me? Oh god no, I can't be with_out _him.  
A: "Are you breaking up with me?" Now he was really annoyed. He looked at me like I was stupid or something, like I couldn't understand a simple thing.  
C: "Ana, I'm just hurt. Like I told you I love you, and that's never going to change. But right now... "_I can't believe this! He is breaking up with me because I was with another man. I need to tell him the truth now, I can't lose him_  
A: "Christian wait, I need to tell you one thing about me and Ethan." He looked at me offended. Like I was trying to lie to him.  
C: "I don't wanna hear it. I don't want any fucking details!" I am felling so scared, he never looked at me with such anger before.  
A: "It's nothing like that! Just hear me out please"  
C: "Nothing between you and Ethan concerns me, I need to be alone now. Taylor!" He is calling security on me?  
A: "Are you calling security to get me out again? I'm not drunk, I'm not stupid. And even though I made a mistake your being an ass!" He was being an ass. How could he do this? I know he's hurt, and I was trying to explain but he doesn't even look at me without that disgust look.  
C: "At least I'm an ass, not a cheater" WHAT? I don't know this Christian, he was never like this with me, but it seems that I've been wrong about him. It was just a kiss... I'm angry.  
A: "You don't let me explain!"  
C: "Bye Ana"

A: "You're impossible; if there's no communication this is impossible. Take this; take it all"  
I start to give him my phone, my car keys, everything I had on me that he gave me. This may gave him a reaction.  
C: "You're being unreasonable. This is your stuff. I don't want it." I don't want anything that reminds of him, I want him, that's all.  
A: "Whatever Christian" I'm leaving, and this sounds less permanent so I'm going to my apartment this time. I believe him, when he says that he didn't sleep with Leila or Elena. Then why was Elena lying like that? To hurt you Ana, to hurt you. I can't live without him but if he can't even let me talk, I can't see a future with me and him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It's been a week since he threw me out for the second time. There has been no contact, I haven't seen him or heard from him. I'm going crazy, I wanted to send him an email just saying "I didn't sleep with Ethan, I was trying to make you care, I know it's stupid but I was insecure about us" well good job Ana! I'm sure you're not insecure anymore. You two are doing great! I need to know anything about him. Should I call Taylor? Or Gail? No no, Elliot! Wait, I gave him my phone. I only have my old phone, and I changed my number so that Christian couldn't track Me, I don't have their numbers. Kate has his number! But I don't want to bother her. Fuck.. Oh! He is Christian grey, what if I Google him? There's going to be something there.  
So I tipped Christian grey November 2012. 7 pictures show up.  
"What the fuck?" I'm crying so hard. Why? It's only been a week. What about the "i love you Ana, I'm just hurt?" he's moving on, with some whore that I don't even know. According to Google, they are dating, and they have been for the last month? What? He was with me a month ago and everybody knows that! I need to call him right now, but what if she is with her? It's your fault Anastasia! You told him that you slept with Ethan when that's a lie, you made him believe that. You cheated on Christian grey you stupid! What were you expecting? He has tons of women trying to get him every day.  
I'm not calling, I should let him be happy after the shit that I made.

it's been a week since Anastasia left her things here and left. I wasn't throwing her out like she thought, I was just so jealous that I didn't want to be too mean to her. I mean I understand what she was saying; she has to deal with women that I've slept with all the time, and she has only been with two men. But I was the only one and it hurts that she did that to me, I can't breathe when I think of her screaming his name, in bed. I'm not ready to be with her because of all this anger. Does she even care about me at all? She didn't try to contact me; I have no way to track her down without the car. I mean, I could track her, I'm Christian Grey, but it seems that she doesn't want me to.  
She changed her number, and I don't wanna look like a stalker anymore than I already do by calling.  
I had an idea that I was hoping that could work. I would take a friend to dinner a couple of times, just to see if Ana cares, cause if she does, she's coming here asking for answers, but until now nothing. There are even articles saying that I'm dating this girl, and I haven't kissed her ever. Maybe that's what's missing from my story; maybe Ana needs a picture of me kissing Emily.  
After the cheating and the fighting I was hoping that she would show me how much of a mistake Ethan was, and that she loved me, only me. Instead she left when I asked, and never came back. Maybe I was too hard? I admit it; maybe I was kind of an ass, and I'm still so curious about what she had to say to me, but any more details about her and Ethan? That was disgusting.

-  
After what I found I couldn't stop goggling him and that bitch. Her name was Emily Montgomery and she was a publicist. She was very rich, because of her parents business. She had brown hair, green eyes, perfect body. So far, the perfect match for Christian. I'm nothing compared to her! The woman is flawless.  
"Oh no, not this, please I can't see this kind of stuff"  
There it was, a picture of Christian kissing her in a restaurant. The title said "It seems that these two are doing great. Anastasia who?" gosh, that hurts. I'm not ruining this for him. I messed us up. He deserves to be with someone like her.

-  
So, the pictures are out. I do hope Anastasia sees them fast. I miss her. I miss her touch, her company, everything. But I can't trust that she loves me back, so this situation is perfect. If she loves me she would be so jealous that I can't even imagine. I smiled. This is going to work.

-  
I can't be home anymore, I'm always staring at their kissing photo. His lips, in another woman's mouth. It hurts. Now I know how much I hurt him, he must hate me.  
I'm going out tonight, I need a drink. Wait, not one, like 100 so that I can forget all of this crap. I'm starting to feel like an alcoholic.  
I went to a bar close to my apartment named. "Just do it" oh that was convenient.  
"Good night miss..?"  
"Steele" I smiled back at him.  
"Miss Steele what can I get you tonight?"  
"I want something strong like, vodka. And I want it to keep coming until I say that it's enough" is there going to be enough to put my mind away from him?

-  
Nothing yet. She saw the pictures already grey, she doesn't care. What is she doing now? I need to know. "Taylor! Find out where Anastasia is as fast as you can"  
"Yes sir."  
This was so weird. Maybe he was really better than me and she us fucking him like I suggested. Stupid! How could you suggest that to her. I hope she is at home though, watching tv.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

APOV

"Ohhhh this is fun, loving the music!" the music was loud but when you're hearing Kings of Leon, that's the way it's supposed to be.  
"Miss, are you sure you want a refill?" I told him that I always wanted a refill, what's the doubt?  
"Oh Paul sure! I'm doing great, but right now I'm going outside"  
"Alone miss Steele? Do you think that that's a good idea?"  
I need to get some our so I'm going outside, of course it's a good idea. This barman is weird. I'm going to call Christian, just to tell him to be happy, that I'm not going to sabotage their relationship.

* * *

CPOV

My phone is ringing. ANA? She's calling finally. Maybe she wants to yell at me, thank god.

"Ana?" so much noise! Where is she? Is she at a club? Oh no.

"Christian! How are you? You sound the same. I need to tell you someth.." I interrupt her. "Have you been drinking Anastasia?" I know the answer. Why would she do that? "TAYLOR! Where is she?" How is it possible that he still doesn't know where she is, I need to get to her right now. "Oh Christian, always controlling, even when we're not together" is she kidding me? "Ana, where are you?" She starts laughing. What's so funny about this?

"You can't do-o that, I don't th-th-ink your new girlfriend would approve. And that's why I c-c-called. You n-n-need to be with her, she looks good with you." What? She called me to tell me that I should be with Emily? That's crazy.

"No, no" she keeps talking but she's not making any sense. "SHUT UP ANA! Where the fuck are you? TAYLOR!" I need to know where she is right now.

"Sir, I found her. She's at a bar not too far from here." Thank God. "Take me there fast".

"Christian c-c-calm down. I'm doing great and I don't need you to be my savior." The hell she's doing great! My Ana, alone and drunk.

* * *

APOV

I should hang up. Why is he doing this? If he is with her, then why all the drama? I told him I was doing just fine, I just called to tell him to be happy, and now he's coming here? Emily will be really mad at me and him; I just ruined things for him.

"Bye Christian, I'm really sorry." Its better this way, I should go pay my drinks inside, and then leave.

He is probably just getting here, knowing Christian. I just don't understand why he's doing all this. Fuck this. I'm feeling dizzy, if I'm going to vomit I sure not vomit near Christian, not again. I'm going to the bathroom

"Where the fuck is she? Taylor are you sure this is the right place?" Maybe she's not here, but I need to find her now. She can't be alone drunk like that.

"Yes sir, this is it" it is? Then I'm freaking searching the whole place for her. "ANA? ANA?"

After vomiting everything I had on my stomach, I think I'm hearing Christian. Fuck, he's yelling my name so loud, he's going to find me. I look at my reflection in the mirror, oh my god I look like crap. I need to get out of the bathroom; Christian is not going to stop yelling.

As soon as I open the bathroom door, there he is, but he can't see me. I try to get to him slowly, because he is scaring me, yelling that much. I try to touch his shoulder.

"I'm here Christian, stop it" he looks at me like he did when I came home the night he threw me out.

"Ana, oh baby thank God you're ok" I look at him confused. Baby? What? What about Emily? Before I have any chance of asking him anything he hugs me. Right there, in public, showing affection. What the hell is going on?

"I'm so glad you're ok, I thought that you left, maybe with some guy.." there he goes. And tonight I'm brave enough to tell him exactly how I feel, maybe it's the alcohol.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm ok, I can take care of myself. I don't need you taking care of me, and you know I can, because that's what I've been doing for the last week. Why are you here with me and not with your girlfriend? I called you to that you should be happy with her, not to make you run back to me, even though I really want you back. You were an ass to me, I did nothing wrong! Except for kissing Ethan but that was a mistake, I apologized and.. Nothing compares to you damn it! I No one will ever be you. There's not a man in the entire world that would ever make me feel like you did. You touch me and I'm helpless you.." What did I just say? This was not what I was going to say at all! Fuck fuck. Before I had any time to say anything else his lips were on mine.

He was kissing me like his life depended on it, like it was necessary or else he would die. It was an intense kiss, I felt his tongue dancing with mine and I felt my knees losing all the strength. He pulled me closer and almost took my feel of the ground. I don't think that I can say another word for the next month. But he stops our kiss, and starts talking.

"There is no girlfriend Anastasia, it has always been you. I started taking Emily to dinner because I knew that the press would make assumptions and post photos of us online, and I was hoping that you would see them. And it seems that I was right. But my goal was for you to come after me, I know it's stupid. But you didn't. And then you called me and I was so worried, I needed to see you. I don't care what you've done, I don't care that you slept with Ethan, I don't care about anything. I just need you to know that I can't live without you; I don't function without you in my life Anastasia."

There's no Emily? Oh thank God, yes it was stupid! We look like teenagers. I lied to him, he lied to me, and all to what? We're both hurt. I need to tell him the truth right now, it's my chance. He's going to be so mad.

"Christian listen, I need to tell you something but you need to promise me that you're not going to be mad and leave. Please."

What does she have to say to me? Did she sleep with him again? Oh no I can't take it. She's mine isn't she? That's not what she meant?

"I promise" what else can I say? I need her.

"I didn't sleep with Ethan. I never did."


End file.
